I am a vulgar woman. My language is beyond repugnant. If a truck driver swallowed a longshoreman, then had a conversation with Andrew Dice Clay and you overheard it, that would be a good example of my everyday vernacular. To be fair, I always follow up my lewd commentary with a "Pardon my french." My bawdry blunders occur so often, that my son has actually started telling people to pardon my french, as well. I caught my son swatting at bugs on the playground, yelling "Get lost, ASSHOLE FLIES!" This, of course, encouraged the whole group to start chanting "ASSHOLE FLIES, GET LOST, ASSHOLES!" There are no words to describe just how funny a battalion of angry toddlers, screaming "asshole", can be and yet, I had to be responsible. I felt like a hypocrite. I can't be in the car with or without my kids for 5 minutes without using, among other much more colorful slang, the words "Shit" or "Asshole". There's no question of where he's getting his crass vocabulary. I spoke with one of the other moms immediately following the incident and she said, "It's always funny when it's not your kid." To be honest, my kid is a riot, especially when spitting out a properly placed curse word. Unfortunately, other people don't have the same tolerance for profanity that my husband and I share. Since consistency is key in raising kids,that means every instance must be acknowledged by the same consequence. Here's my thing; I know it's not good for my son to scream expletives at the playground and I understand why, but when did poop, pee, doodle, booger and...wait for it...stinky get added to the "Do Not Utter" list? I hear the word, "Pottymouth" kicked around a lot, spending the majority of my life on the playground. I've got to tell you, poop is fun to say and last time I checked, using it doesn't hurt anyone. I do correct my child when he uses it, though VERY reluctantly. I always believed words were just words. They only carry as much weight as we allow them to, right? Some words are weightier than others and even though I probably have the world's worst "pottymouth", there are some words even I am offended by; you know the racially motivated, big bombs that I can't even say in my head without feeling ashamed. I can assure you poop, pee, doodle, booger, butt and any other words in that vein did not make that cut. So what is the issue with these words? They're disgusting-true, but other than that, who cares? In fact, the more I feed into this whole, poop=punishment mentality, the more Evan seems compelled to say those words. So, how do I let my son continue to use words that don't bother me, but seem to upset the sensibilities of so many others? Words. Words,words, words.
Never has a word caused more problems for my son,
than that whose meaning lies
within the bowels of defecation.
